rather upset for these few days
maybe cos of the weather?
maybe cos of work?
maybe cos of you????

i never laugh out lound and happy
since 3rd August 2008, i leave all my beloved sister and brother,
who can really shared my sadness, and happiness...

who can make me laugh out lound?
tot i can have a peacful life with family
yet you come near me...
since when you following me?
when????
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!

i cant take it anymore....no more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want myself back....
where am i??

i realiase this really tiring,
i really need to think twice whatever i want,
why i been choosen by you?
jus becos of my grandmama?
and now my turn??????

you really affecting my life,
i had used to do whatever i want,
i just like terrible weak in front of you,
i wasnt me myself,
i am a strong person...but why not in front of you??
you make me weak.......

this only the 2nd day,
how i going to face you for my whole life?
i am trying to pretend myself in front of my daddy and mummy,
i knew they are worry bout me lots...
i just cant help...

sorry dad and mum,
my heart was pain and terrible pain when facing both of you,
i let you worry when i was in Singapore,
yet now i staying with you still i let you worry,
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.....

i get to collect my report todae morning 9.15am
it alomst brought me into HELL...

i only give myself for 3months
3months later it will be my destiny...

i knew it there was something wrong when i was there
but just never let myself down as infront of my dearst mummy...

she will be suffer alot becos of me for this coming 3months...

i need to control myself from taking lots of temptation...
really control....

i am so down...
almost to cry out

my heart was so PAIN........
jus PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

有人说：你对着生活笑，它会对着你笑得更灿烂；你要是对着生活哭，它就会让你哭得更难受。

在我们的生活中，总会面对一些不如意，不开心的事，只要我们还懂得微笑，我们就可以从容地过好每一天！！与其哭得难受，不如笑得灿烂？你同意吗？

将所有不开心的，痛心的，悲伤的心情，统统把它给系在这气球上。。。让它把它们都从你的生活中带走，只留下开心的，幸福的，和甜蜜的心情，陪伴着你，让你开开心心，幸幸福福，甜甜蜜蜜的度过每一天。这是我所向往的，那你呢？

要紧记在心，爱是开心的，幸福的，也是甜蜜的。。。

我在乎，因为爱。。。你呢？

i jus like dunno wad to do in the whole day...
you are not even reply me a msg...
i was checking on my both handphone if i had missed out ur msg,
but...........

please...
at least a msg to clam me down...
feeling of worry-ing floating all over my mind...

do you know that i love you much?
do you know that i care about you?
do you know how pain is my heart?

rest your mind...
please...REST your mind...
you had promised me to hand me your sadness...
but u never....
when??
only tell me you re okie IF YOU REALLY OKIE...
althought i am far away from you, but my heart just next to you...
i can simply know it if you really okie and i need not to ask...
you can always ask me not to worry,
and i always giving you a perfect answer, OKIE...
but you knew that i won and i cant...

i am waiting.......yes, i am....

in make up look...
me and Teresa, my youngest sister,she pretty ya?

my 1st off day after 1 week work...

yet today i requested for it,

cos my preciuos brother going to have his convocation tmr,

and today is family photo taking session...

i put on my brother's robes after he finish his photo session,

and i took photo with my parents with it...look nice...

and jus like i had fullfill my wish...hahaha...sound like going to die like tat...

joking joking nia...haha

i will post it when i get those pic back...

look no diff with the make-up me and non-make-up me...

haha...

still look fats...

like pig.........

i had taken the test...

before the test i took my weight...

i only put on 1 kg althought i had eat alots...

i dunno wad happen to me..

from 65kg to 60kg within 2 years,

and recently drop to 55kg before came back,

and now 56kg...

hahaha.......i only 6kg more than my mum..

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry...
sorry cos i letting you all down...

kathy,
sorry cos i will not be able to join ur birthday celebration in coming sept...

rachel,
sorry cos i will need to cancel the trip for coming sept...

i jus cant arrange my schedule without settle down the store operation...

i can only see you all in coming december...

SORRY...............

althought if is carry on, still i will say no
jus not going to let u come alone...
sorry......

dun feeling talking much todae...
sort like feeling down after early morning,
after mum talking to me...
after i took the stupid test...
after i received called from my sister...
after a damn fxxxing attitude lady in bank...
after a long damn traffic jam...
after a short chatting with my boss...
after all, todae wasnt my day....

feel like crying....
just down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]=

rachel,

your dessert....

yummy.........

cant imagine i can order this much and finish it...

but not by my own, with Bryan...

damn nice ^^

Thailand style de dessert.....

yum yum...

hmmm....

this the fireman show that having in my restaurant...

enjoy!!!!

rachel,

i will post the dessert's photo next few days...

to tired to do it now as i waited for the video almost 20min...

this is the Wok/Pot [i also dunno wad this thing call] using in my restaurant
view of my restaurant

YupYup....Fireman BBQ restaurant
Yoy, this is the guy who doing performance, Kent, Thailand guy
look at his funny face.....
he jus look so 'qiao'...yark!!!
Yoy, Bryan...the guy i mention in my last blog who look like Lionel...
Tatami area...

hey...

another day...

yup...having fun working in this restaurant...

the thailand guy always make me laugh till stomachache...

when talking to him, sometime just like chicken and duck talking...

quek quek... kokkookkkk... !#$$%$#^&.... then i always laugh till i feel fainted ...

yarh, lots of Mynmar workers, and Thailand workers...

all my kitchen staffs from Thailand, and floor staffs from Mynmar...

then the whole restaurant jus like full with chicken and duck....

hahahahhhaaa......

sometimes, i cant even understand wad they trying to say...

the most funniest thing is, when my mgr ask a Mynmar guy, where is the kitchen and toilet...guess the answer???

he point to the kitchen say it is toilet and bingo, toilet become kitchen...

i laugh non-stop till my tears come out, so and my mgrs...

i actually work lesser job compare in McD and PL...

really a mgr job here which i jus need to follow up, follow up and follow up...

narh, dun worry...I WILL MAKE IT de..

hahaha...

i miss you all much lerh..

misssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you all so much....

sound like you getting better and better...

happy to know that you are trying to do something...

when will you send me ur sadness burden?

or you had learnt how to throw it away??

Jia you <333333333

i always there for you....always.....

okay, i shd not blog todae as my eyes totally become a line...
anw, jus a fast post..

1st day in Fireman BBQ..
fun...and i jus like rachel, number of OMG happens..

OMG 1
i meet a guy name bryan, an asst mgr there...
he look likes Lionel...
i shd post his photo next time...

OMG 2
hey, they have fire performance sias...
a thailand guy name kent...
we called him fireman...
damn shoick!!!! i will post the video up soon too...

OMG 3
ish freaking tired after rest for 2 weeks never work..

the operation jus a like with Pepper Lunch...
and

OMG 4
i doing closing without RM teaching yet i was teaching Bryan...

OMG 5
and i only have 1 week times to handle and familiar with the operation and paper work,
cos after this wee, i will be opening another outlet at a shoping mall...

and finally, aug ish a shitty month...
lots of shitty thing happen...
jus SHITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004
chapter 1- started in McDonalds
1st Jun,
trainee mgr in SRA3 (Serangoon Central Ave 3)
1st Oct 2004,
promoted to 2nd asst mgr...
staying in SRA3 for almost 19months...
transfred to RVM (Rivervale Mall)
1st Oct 2006,
promoted to 1st asst mgr...
staying in RVM for only 18months...
transfred to SRG (Serangon Garden)
7th Jan 2008...
Chapter 1 - Life in McDonalds, CLOSE!!!!!

14th Jan 2008
Chapter 2 - Pepper Lunch SFBI
started as a part-timer at Funan
15th Feb 2008
converted to Full timer- trainee captain C
transfred to STC (SuntecCity)
staying for 4months...
transfred back to Funan
and finaly 31st July,
Chapter 2 - Life in Pepper Lunch , CLOSE!!!!!

and NOW...
15th Aug 2008,
I will start a Brand New Chapter in my own country...
Chapter 3 - Fireman BBQ Restaurant
hey people, wish me luck....^^

wish you luck for your paper too...
have a great rest after paper...
love ya <3333333

sort of heart ache for me to scold a person i love the most
i no longer a person that having a bad temper, in fact i dunno how to scold le...


that's enough!!! you know i cant bear to scold you
my heart pain enough!!
you know he more worse than somebody,
should you STOP injecting your feeling toward him?
my heart was too pain...


should had put the blame on me,
how stupid me think that he can take care of you
and yet he now suffering you
how bustard me cant even beside you when you are sad
and wad a useless person am i...

LORD, please put all the burden of sadness of her on my shoulder
i will carry for her as i had promised
i will nevcr break my promised toward her
and ever forever will not return those sadness to her

my heart was broken into pieceses by pieceses...
sorry....
when i think it again and again...
still sorry.....

mable...
chocolate...

thunder cat

i received an email from my friend

this picture makes me recall bout my childhood...

the games, the cartoons...

haha...

having a gathering dinner just now...

yup..we talk alots...

who getting marry, who going to be mommy...

haha...seem like too long never meet up...

i seldom talk...only listen...

but happy and enjoy...

jus like wad i was did in Singapore...

Tong Wai, seem like i had took over ur job...

just not in Singapore but Msia...

happy to listen, happy to see people smile...

am i happy?? yarh...

kinda of feeling that you wasnt happy this few days

i dun like people that saying themselve stupid, yet u did it...

kinda of heart pain...

feeling apart from you...

please, never ever do it again..

if human being can easily pull out from R/S

will it be perfect?

what will we get from it?

happily ever after?

answer????

WHAT IS LOVE???

Aaaaaaaa.......
wad a Shitty day!!!!!!!
my phone stolen by a MF...
argh........................................

i lost all my memories inside the phone...
my heart terribly PAIN.....
PAIN............
pain cos all my sweet memory was inside the phone...
all my photos.....

CRY LIKE SHIT!!!!~~~~

SHITTY SHITTY SHITTY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and boys and girls...my number now change to +6016-9190416

my brother and me!!
Happy Birthday Christine!! 8th Aug...

and Happry Birthday SINGAPORE!!!

OMG!!! 4years old kid emoing...haha..my dear nephew..
yummy!!!!! see!!! blackforest and choc cake there...temp??!!!
here go more choc cake....O.o...
For you!!!! SMILE XDDDD!!!
ehmmmm.....

i shd have post last nite..

too tired....haha...out for fun till 3am..

reach home around 345am...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dearest Sister..

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

hmmm......

die le lah...

eat lots of nice stuff, cake...

ehmmmm...

shd have stop eating for a week then...

haha......

saw the kid emoing??

now a day, kid also know how to emo sias...

he was pised by his mum...

cos my sis dun wan buy him Ice-Cream...

SAD!!~~~

hahah....

miss life in Singapore...

miss people in Singapore...

miss my bro and sis in Singapore...

Rachel, TongWai, Kathy, Juliana, Desmond, Lionel, JiaHui, meimei...

Jean, Lisa, Joanne, Mummy Kum Yee, Mummy Chitra...

JUST MISS....

especially you~~~

tired tired and tired....

woke up 730am, go GH with my sis together with the youngest boy...

follow up on his hearing test...

the doctor damn rough and rude...

kinda of feeling wanted to slap her...

she push my nephew's head...

jus a baby....

yet she yell at me ask me to make baby milk...

hey, madam...i not a maid...talk to me nicely...

wad the hell....really feel like slapping her...

i told my sis not to coming back...pissed...

busy for the whole day but not for my own...

just for this brothers...

painting their room...with diff colour tone...

lite yellow, lite blue...

i like the blue...looks like sky...

free and peaceful...

i jus want to sleep...

really tired out..

yarh....i miss going movie with you too...

LOVE ya^^

i notice that i cant really wait till tmr morning then post this...

TW, i dunno wad actually happen on you..
wad i know only u re sad....kinda of feeling after saw ur nick name in msn...
heart aching....sorry for not re-acting immediatly cos too tired...

i feel like kinda of feeling that you having now toward her...
perhaps it can do something...

想爱- 无印良品

你那温柔的声音 深深触动了我的心灵
是否仍那麽的坚定 不要任何的感情
我反复问自己 怀疑自己的决定
爱悄悄掠过我的心 让我不经意地牵动了情
终于推翻自己的决定 好想好像占有你
你心里可曾有我的一点一滴
想爱 却怕你受伤害
想为你度身缝裁 却怕你一再更改
想爱 又怕你不想爱
如果思念放未来 爱情的天空仍闊不开
想爱 把天色都想白 谁能告诉我如何去爱

do wadever you wana do after this...
pls di, cheers up!!!
Rachel and i will always support you...
yarh..you wanted by us!!!

LOVE <33333333

i found this when i was unpacking my CD's and books from the big box...
put the disc into the CD player, this song ish nice..yet bit old for someone..maybe...
Rachel, this dedicate to you....

有你在身旁-无印良品

路有点长，夜有点微凉
心情迷迷惘惘和寂寞交换沮丧
天边星辰乎明乎暗
那一颗最能照亮心房。
梦和理想，心坚持不忘
方向就是力量 和时间交替煎熬
雾里曙光绽放希望
有你一切都变得不一样。
谢谢你，给我温柔脆弱时候在我身旁
谢谢你，陪我成长路上风风雨雨
不怕荆棘失望。
有你在身旁心更坚强，
阳光一路陪伴，成长更勇敢
你我心中不必言语，敞开心窗
有你在身旁梦更精彩，
朋友一路陪伴，星光更灿烂
相信相依共同仰望，生命因你更添光亮。

think alots...
haha....really think alots...
and Thanks alots too....

TW, please cheers up...
i heard another song when typing this...
tmr is ur turn... [=

MISS YOU all BADLY....

jia you for everyone...

love <333

my Room...share with sister de
the cupboard designed by me...

living hall...TV console made by ME!!! haha

photo taken before i back from my home at Sengkang...

Fang Jie just like my Big Sister there to take care of me..

Mei Mei likes me and rachel much...

She likes to play with us, especially tickel session with Rach...

miss them...

i hate this kinda of feeling...
4 years ago, when i went to Singapore for my job...
25th May 2004
my family members send me to bus ternimal, my friends, cousin sisters...they all were there...
my heart was aching after board the bus, and i was cried afthe the bus moved...

and today,
5th Aug 2008...
i back to Malaysia from Singapore...
planning to move early in the morning after breakfast...
Ning Ling cried last nite, and i had promised her to wait till she back from class...
meeting Rachel, TongWai for breakfast together with BF...
we are all laughing and having our smiling face in front of each other...
even BF know that i was sad...
went home after breakfast and clear for the last round to wait for Ning LIng back from class...
lying on my bed, jus to feel the 1 last time with my soft and nice bed...
Rachel said the same thing..
but too bad i cant bring it back...

after Ning Ling back, we continue till 2pm..
TW and BF bring all those stuff down and prepared for loading...
i was all the way controlling...
till finish loading, we started the car and we left...
on the way send Rachel back,
i silent....
send rachel till door step..
she gave me a hug warm hugs before i left...

i no longer control my tear afthe the hug...
my tear came out straight away after board BF car...
untill JB custom...

i stopped!!!
it was so difficult for me to stop crying...
BF make me cry again!!
guess wad he said...
'Dear, look!!!! opposite is Singapore, the pcs of land that we just cross over!!!!!'
wad the xxxx.......

i today really cried out like shit....

i missed you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*betapa susah aku memperhentikan air mata mu...
tak sampai hati nak biarkan mu nangis lagi...
maafkan aku kalau aku tak jadi nak temankan mu...
tapi mu selalunya dalam hati aku...*

another phase for u to find out..

i know is hurt...
sorry for hurting u...in fact i dun wish this to happen...
really dun want this to be happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cos i am HURT too!!!!!!!!!

Joanne, Jean, Lisa and Me
Me and Lisa
Me, JEan and Joanne
ME and Mummy Kum Yee
Me and Mummy Chitra

damn freaky tired these 3days...

pack and pack all my stuff...

ha...and also going out with all my beloved friends for the last times in Singapore...

Saturday,2nd Aug

sLeep till 930am...

meet Juliana together with Rachel at CPP about the HK trip...

rush to meet Liza and YiHao at Pizza Hut after send Rachel to take bus...

then RUSH to TAKA again and reach b4 7pm to meet Lisa, Jean and Joanne

We went for Buffet, and Midnight karaoke...

WOW...i went to AMK hub together with Joanne by BikE...

feeling great...reach home Around 430am...

sleep at 530am...

Sunday, 3rd Aug

woke up 900am...

wake Rachel up for her comp study,

fall asleep again till 10am..wake up rush again to bathe, meet Mummy Kum Yee..

together we went to ChinaTown for Asam Laksa (penang laksa) and my Yong Tao foo...

Yummy........

Go Funan to return my uniform...

and rUsh to AMK hub by 1pm, cos she wanted to pass me back my stuff

she was late, for 15min...

she looks tired...rushing for her study and projects..

she looks at me like cant recognize me...well...

hahahhh...mummy kumyee did this to me too...

back to Sengkang...grap 1hours snap...

and meet mummy chitra at SKRV 5pm...

have a great talk with her....

and 6pm...meeting rachel, kathy and des for dinner...

sleeep around 5am again...

Monday,4th Aug...

i suppose to leave today,

but rachel lucks let me stay for 1 more days..

great day...cos i din sleep much too...

meet bf at woodland 230pm...

then home and rest till 530pm..

out for movie with xz,rach,yeekiat..

stupid @ money not enough 2 @ make me cry...

the scene that the 3 sons take turn to take care the old mommy and at the end they send her to the old folk home, make me recall bout my grandma...all my uncles did that to her too....

they did what the show showing me, i missed my grandma...

i pissed off with my uncles....really....

they threat my grandma like a ball...kick here and there...

dun like and even hate them...

Yup..huixin,kathy,evelyn, jean and Juliana... thanks for the msg...

i noticed you emotions swinging all way long...

sorry cos i dunno what to do,

how to cheer u up...

cos i sad as well.....

i cant even well control my emotions...

jus dun feel like leaving......

missed you all..

*aku rindu, risau pada mu...

entah apatah lagi aku boleh buat,

aku tak sampai hati nak tengok muka sedih mu,

aku tak sampai hati nak lepaskan tangan mu...

tolong jaga dirimu baik-baik...

aku akan berdoa agar kehidupan mu penuh dengan kegembiraan...*

*rachel, try to find this out...*

WOW....
1st Aug....

but today 2nd le....

went out with Ju and Rach yesterday...
tot go EXPO to check out the travel package pricing,
guess what...damn LONG Q...
3 of us just went to food fair then...

went to Pasir Ris after that,
KLKK...nothing to do....
ha..went for dessert again...hmmm...but this time ony Rach taking...

we all going out for supper...
Kathy, Juliana, Lionel, Tong Wai, Minnie, Rachel and me..
Chomp Chomp...SRG....
tot to visit Ah Ma in Mcd, reach there i only saw pearlier....
Cold.....not like that time when i was there..
narh...history agian...

Minnie bought me a huge white RAbbit..
ehmmm....i just mange to clear some of my soft toy and pass to JU
and now i get another...still i LIKE tat Rabbit...yuppie
ehmmmmm....perhaps won get scolded bah...

saw the 'DoG TaG'??
narh..Mr.See Tong Wai...
DoG TaG sia....hahahhha...but is ok..still nice...
will use it as key chain instead...
Was NICE.....

and also The 2pcs of 8R photos...
and a CERT??!!!
yuP...made by Rachel...
Special enough.....MUAks!!!

THANKS GUYS AND GALS....

I LOVE YOU ALL MUCH.........

<33333