一心以为已经把事情解决了，

可是看来却是另外一件事情的开始，

一心以为这样可以帮到别人，

可是看来却是害了身边的人，

为什么每次都是这样？

好心帮人，又却做了坏事。。。

也许我真的太天真，

也许我真的太笨，

我很累，不想再走下去了。。。

把我带走吧，也许这才是最好的办法。。。

# 4 个月了，

好开心，能够跟你一直的走下去，

我珍惜现在你给我的一切，

有你在的分分钟都妙不可言。。。#

今天的心情只有一个字能形容，

烦。。。超烦！！！！！！！！！！！！！

遇上了一场小意外，

被一个懵懵恰恰的人撞伤了左脚，

脚跺有点肿，膝盖有点黑青，

走起路来一拐一拐的，

有点帅。。。哈哈哈哈

因为跟铁拐李很像，

但就没有满脸胡须。。。

我没事，不用担心。。。

这场小意外，也许会给我一个从生的机会。。。

原来真相有时并不是想象中那么的难以接受，

有个窍门的，在知道真相前，把那所谓的真相想的更加的残酷，

到你真正去面对时，反而觉得它犹如皮毛。。。

thank you for all the wishes,

all the gifts...

and all the sms....

i had a wonderful day..

27th oct 2009...

a wonderful day for me...

spending a whole day out with xb..

although nowhere else to go,

but jus feel nice...

10月27日晚上10点27分，

你的一句话让我觉得很开心，很甜。。。

谢谢你陪了我一整天。 <333

it coming again...

still something never get out from my mind...

everytime when it comes near to me...

i got kinda of phobia bout it...

how can i get rid with these? and it won be happen again??

i had started a new life here and these the 2years i passing thru the day without u,

but why still u haunted me?

phobia cos i really scared it will happen again,

never had these feeling since last nite after a song...

i had been thinking too much maybe...

but i jus cant help..

i really scared and worried...

* everything in my mind now is not for me,

everything in my mind now is jus for u,

caring bout ur feeling, ur thinking, and everything,

i jus dun wan you to be hurt...

but it seem like never got to work out...

and you re hurt, sorry it was my bad*

another playboy thingy here for both of us...

and a pair of rabbit which i cant upload that photo, dunno why...

i totally in love with 'playboy' ^^

and and and...stupid cough and flu getting worse...

make me cant sleep for the whole night..

block nose..coughing...

aaarrrggghhh....

and dunno where this pervert came from...

calling me middle of the night 2am...non-stop giving me miss call..

and the number of miss call up to 20times...

night mare!!!!!!

gosh....help me!!!!!!!!

生病了，伤风感冒，咳嗽。。。很辛苦。。。

人在店，心在哪？

想不通一些事，

就想不通，沉默是一种罪？

人也变得语无论次了。。。

在电台听到了这首歌，突然觉得它很适合你，

这几天的我突然感到很幸福，很甜。。。

那幸福的感觉远远盖过了那恶梦。。。

你，愿意让它持续下去吗？

品冠-疼你的责任

每次你任性時說的一些話　你知道那有多傷人嗎
但我頂多只氣個三分鐘吧　最後依然體貼的送你回家
有時想如果我不是一直讓　你也許會懂得學著體諒
但是我完全無法硬著心腸　做得讓你有一點難過失望

總覺得有疼你的責任　要你是最快樂最單純的人
因為你讓我的心變得豐盛　原來不奢望的變成可能
總覺得有疼你的責任　讓你做最輕鬆最自然的人
我想不遮掩也是一種信任　愛的瞭解包容才算愛得完整

中秋节快乐！！

还以为今年的中秋节要自己在公司渡过，

还好妹妹和妹夫没有在家庆祝，

今晚的晚餐还好，

气氛还不错。。。

回国后的第一个中秋，感觉不赖。。。

今天的生意并不很理想，

不过也好，起码他们不会那么累。。。

希望你也有一个开心愉快的家庭晚宴。。。

Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

Oh I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you

第一年回到自己的地方过中秋，

感觉怪怪的，仿佛家人已经不再注重这节日了，

人回到了自己永远的避风港，但心却想着往外跑。。

人是不是就永远那么的矛盾？

失去的是才最好的？

我失去了一些永远都不可能再拥有的东西，

在那当儿，我也发现我从来没有在阴影中走出来。。。

那伤害也许对我来讲真的太大？

当真正的去面对时，竟然发现其实我并没有那么大的勇气。。。

昨晚妹妹帮我做了一个简单的心理辅导，

面对着她，我竟然丢下一向有的大姐风范，

抱着她痛哭。。。

到现在为止，心虽然轻松了许多，但人也累了。。

那一切的情况，历历在目。。。

慢慢的被挖掘出来，一次过的面对，原来真的很痛。。。

妹妹从来没发现到我的情况越来越严重，

因为我从来没有跟她用心的谈。。

因为我一直掩饰着自己。。

因为我一直为他寻找借口。。

也因为他真的老了。。。

曾经想过，狠狠的骂他一顿，

曾经想过，用力的拥抱着他，

曾经想过，大声地告诉他，我是真的很爱他。。。

可是这都是曾经。。。

我到现在为止，还找不到该有的勇气。。。

我现在学习着如何面对我心中的两把声音，

在学习着怎样面对我心里的那根刺。。。

我真的在学习着。。。

i learnt lots of thing todae...

most of these were psychology...

fren of mine and sis of mine helping me to came out from 'shit'...

until now then i now that since i was a little girl,

there lots of things never get resolve..

and it always in my heart, and is really bottom of my heart..

till recently, i found out that the cycle came back again to me...

i talk to Sharon, a counselor for me i can say...

she help me to find out the roof cause...

and i had never think this will happen...

the person who hurt me deep, was my dad...

surprisingly...i even cant believe it...

but it was so true when i cry non stop while i talking bout it...

it was in Sharon office...

when i was home jus now,

i told my sis about that,

she also trying to help me..

but anw, she make me cry more even worse...

till my eyes swollen....

luckly wking late tmr...

well, it seem like really works...

i now feeling better and really better....

&karen really tired...

finally let out all those shitty things...

silent all the while and cant be silent anymore...

i had a great night sleep finally,

nothing to think anymore..

release~~~

mama told me this morning,

papa dun agree if i go penang...

lots of worries from them and basically bout the salary,

and of cos i dun think so...they worries based on my health as well...

they wan me to be well taken care..

well....you know what shd you do?? (=

was trying all the while to settle everything...

and now i fully understand that i cant run away from facing the true..

and see now...i think i manage to do it..

and it seem feeling good...

and i really LOVE you sias....

Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something

i found this in my FB, i realize that people who younger than me think better than me...

how many times of failure i faced, but still i continue the same mistake...

am i too nice to people, or am i just look like an idiot?

finding out the truth seriously hurts alots..

but what else i can do?

and now there are 4 options with me...

tell me how to make a decision...

most properly i will go for option 4, but before that, should i try other option?

and really i cant live without you,

do promise me not to leave me alone no matter what...

i am strong, but weak in certain area...

stay with me will you?

this what i realise...

my heart really stollen by you...

and seriously...

what else i can do??

hey well, people i am back...
feel great and nice spending these few days with Rachel and TW...
off-ing my handphone, without any disturb..but..still issue over there...

1st time driving alone to Genting...
feeling different from the previous time..
this is the 2nd time i had spend days with rachel at Genting..
totally different....

She gave me a big hug when she saw me,
of cos tw cant hug me...hmmm...
having great fun...movie at the 1st night,
Tsunami...nice...touch...
walking around Genting, going into Casino...
Arcade..Starbuck...

Theme park, the next day...
taking flying coaster as for the starting of the rides...
TW feel like shit...haha...well, cant deny...is scary..
and i had tried the ride that i never think that i will try..
i cant recall the ride name, but is sort like jumping down from 10th floor...
the moment it came down, i had no time at all to think..
cant even speak a word..
the weather wasnt that good..
raining...cold...could it be nice if u there with me?

came down from Genting on the Saturday...
spending some time at my working place,
besides having a meal,
i need to settle someting urgent..
and of cos i kena nag..
but well...i cant just leave it like that really...
we going to Aloha,
had a great night..
Rachel and TW was drunk i think...
but still we enjoy the night...

Sunday...
Sunway Lagoon...
this round together with xiao bai..
lots of funny things happen..
all locked into my memories,
but i dunno hw am i going to blog it out..
hahaha...old people..

and today.....
i feel like shit...
really feel like shit...
i dunno how to explain it..
but jus shit..

xb，你要好好照顾自己，
别让我心痛。。。

jus dun feel liike letting you go..
my heart was break into pieces again..
a little hug, meant a lots for me..
and what i had told you before u went off,
is really meant it..and just for you..
no matter in or out of relationship,


you still have me...
and i always loves you

i am going off for 4days...
enjoying these 4days with my dear rachel and tw...
i dun wish to bring all those shit tgt with me...
i jus wan a peaceful rest...

保佑我~~

我真的希望你们比我更好过，

最起码，我问心无愧。。。

左右为难的我，

不想你们难受，但我却无能为力。。。

感觉很难过。。。

看到你们脸上的笑容，慢慢的消失在我眼中，

我的心很痛~

我希望~~

我真的希望，你们能够给大家一点的时间，

就一点。。。

拜托。。。

突然发现最近有一首歌一直在我脑海中盘旋着，

突然发现原来旧的歌其实比流行歌曲来的更有意义，

突然发现自己原来已经很累了，

突然发现原来。。。

我的心真的真的受伤了。。。